Getting this table has been difficult. First we bought a 130 piece train set for the boys and the plan was to make a table. Rob and my dad went and bought the plywood and when they came home and told me that it was $80.00 I said well we can buy one that is made for 100.00 why don't we do that instead. So Rob and my dad returned the wood. Then as I was looking online the one I had purchased was out of stock, so I continued to look and found this one at Toys R Us it comes with a 100 piece set. They were out of stock in all the stores as well except the one at Cross Iron Mills said they had one when I called, I sent my mom and they tried to give her a different table than this one. I was a little upset so they ended up giving me a rain cheque and the table just came in yesterday so my mom and I went and got it and Rob and I set it up last night. On the way up to Cross Iron Mills I had to return the 130 piece set that I had already bought. So note to self before making a purchase like this DO RESEARCH, lol!!
The boys love it and didn't go to bed last night until 9:45 as you can see in the picture Rob was just having too much fun with them.

My favorite picture is of Hannah and Seth.

We celebrated Tyler's 2nd birthday today, he will be 2 tomorrow. We started off at McDonald's this morning and then came to our house for dinner and cake. We had a good time and it was worth going to McDonald's to have the party. The kids were able to play in the play place and an employee stays with us for the time that we are there. She takes our orders and has them made, she brings everything to us right down to the ketchup. The kids get hats, place mats they can color and treat bags with coupons in it for free stuff from McDonalds. Tomorrow we are going to Denny's for a free dinner for Tyler.

We had family pictures done last night and I have them already. My favorite is the top one of Rob walking with the boys. If you are in the Calgary area looking for a photographer check out this site. http://vloyerphotography.webs.com/ Vanessa was professional and fun, something that I think that is a hard to achieve as a photographer, because it is your job and frustrating when people don't cooperate. Vanessa worked with us and got some great candid shots as well as some posed shots. As for those of you that know Vanessa she is trying to start a business and if it was your business you would look to those that you know to help you. So give her a shot.... no pun intended and you will be pleasantly surprised.

It is as scary as you think. Cancer takes over and consumes every aspect of your life. When I am grocery shopping, I think of the foods that will be best for a compromised immune system. When I am at the checkout, I watch the amount I spend because the budget is tight. At home when I am cooking dinner I hope he doesn’t think this will taste like rotten eggs. Every time I look at him I think about the cancer, because a week after treatment he looks sick and is weak, and for the week before treatment I am thinking he looks so different without the hair. I look at our kids and wonder if the toys they are playing with or the products I use to clean them and my house going to make my children have cancer too? I wonder every time he grunts or says ouch if it is from the chemo or did he hurt himself? When he says ouch and it is because he hurt himself at work it doesn’t hurt me too because that was an accident and possibly his own fault. When he says ouch because he doesn’t know why he is pain I hurt too. I think about it every time I do something for him because I want to do it to make him happy if only for a moment. When I make coffee in the morning and he takes the whole pot I do it because he will be happy for just a moment, I make his lunch because I know it will make him happy for just a moment. I would do those things normally because I love him, now when I do them it is because I want to ease as much stress and work off of him as possible. I think about the cancer every time I call the hospital to schedule or fix an appointment they have already made. I think about it when I am making plans, I wonder will he be able to participate in the activity or will he sit out? Will he make it the whole time or will he need to go home early? I think about it when I cuddle up to him at night and wonder am I hurting him? Can I move a little or will it hurt him?

It is like you are walking in the dark and the only tool you have is your shin to find the furniture. It seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel because you don’t know when this is going to end. I have learned so much in the dark. The most important lesson I have learned is controlling things are not a coping method. I have always controlled things from my feelings to what we are going to have for dinner, so that I am not surprised at any time. When you are like that people think you are strong, and forget to ask if you are ok. I have also learned the meaning of a dollar. I learned to just buy what is on sale and make meals with that. I was not rich as a child but we were ok and if I needed $20.00 my parents were able to give it to me. Now I don’t even have a dollar after I pay bills and buy groceries, sometimes I don’t buy groceries for 3 weeks and then when I have money to buy them it is only $50.00. I have learned that even though I don’t want to cook I have to because I know we don’t have the money to go out for dinner anywhere. I have learned to make money stretch, I turned an old pair of pants into a skirt instead of going and buying a new skirt like I would have before. The hardest lesson I learned is to ask for help. I have only ever asked my parents for help. I realized when our power was shut off that we were not going to be able to do this alone, I reached out and asked for help from the city and they helped. I have learned to let things go because if I don’t I am going to get stressed out. If I am stressed out I am going to snap and take it out on people who do not deserve it. I learned that I need to be happy with life no matter what it throws you and not look to my spouse to make me happy, I had a misconception that someone else was going to make me happy. The only person who can make you happy is you. I learned to find the things that make me happy and do them, like making and decorating cakes, playing with my children, and making my house a comfortable, clean place. I have learned the part of my vows that say for richer or for poorer, for in sickness and in health. I have learned all this and more.

We were told in the beginning Rob would have to do 12 treatments we are on the 7^th treatment and just got the news that he might only have to do 1 more instead of 5 more. He has a test booked for February 4, 2010, to see if there is any cancer left in his body.

Here is the pictures of the fort that Rob and I built for the boys...... they really liked it.

The other picture is the cake that I made for Ariels birthday, it is so adorable. I had some issues with it though, I made a box cake and it was only enough to fill one side, I couldn't run out Thursday night to get it because it was late, so I ditched the one side and followed the recipe on the back of the box and it wasn't quite enough batter to fill both sides, so it ended up filling in the nose just enough for the outside of the mold, so I ended up sticking in some of the cake from the middle when I leveled it. Then the recipe calls for demerura sugar for the fur.... it is like a crystal like brown sugar, but I didn't have any and I saw on a website to color coconut brown, I tried and it wouldn't work because my brown is clumpy now because I haven't used it in awhile, so I stuck the coconut in the oven under broil and browned it. The molds were given to me by Robs parents for Christmas.... I love it and it goes for any occasion because you can just make appropriate clothes for it.

I got these pair of pants from my sister in law, quite awhile ago and I wore them out in the middle. When I was in Vernon she gave me two more pairs.... so I decided to put the old ones to good use and I made this skirt... it worked out better than I thought.

Rob went to the doctor today and was told that he may not have to finish his chemo, he will have to do 3 more and then they will do a test and if it is gone then he is done.

I don't really have any pictures of Christmas in Vernon because we were all caught up in it all and forgot to take pics. Christmas in Vernon was a really nice relaxing time. We tried to take the boys up to the ski hill on New Years Eve but it was really cold so we only stayed for an hour, the children were playing on the hill, sliding down on their buts or sometimes in the sleds. Tyler and I wussed out at the end and went and sat in the truck for about 10 minutes before the rest of them decided to leave anyway. It is always nice to spend time with family, Happy New Year to all.