We went to the hospital really early this morning. The ride there and back was a little harsh for Rob but he is a trooper he made it. They took his blood and his White blood cells (immune system) came back as .4, that is really low the normal is 4-11. They want it to be like this so his body doesn't fight. Today seems to be a lot better for Rob his nausea is some what under control, he is now on the couch and gets up a few times. He engages in conversation, watches TV, and plays on the ipod. When we were at the hospital this morning we went outside for about an hour, we just sat there but he did really well and enjoyed it. Today Rob asked for toast with jam, so I made it and just about gave it to him and realized he couldn't have jam. It is a shelf stable product, which means refrigerate after opening. He can not have that because the bacteria starts to form 24 hours after opening it. So he had toast and peanut butter. The alternative is for us to buy individual jams, mayo, mustard, ketchup, salsa sauce, salad dressing, I am sure you get the point.
It was nice to have Robs mom here, she kept me sane, as she says she kept me focused, lol there was so much to do that I didn't even think of I thought I had it all done, well except for the laundry, we had clothes in the closet to wear it is just now we have LOTS of clothes in the closet to wear. We go back to the hospital on Sunday for another checkup and assessment.

I cooked dinner outside last night in my pressure cooker, because the smell would have bothered Rob. I know the feeling when I am sick I don't like all the smells. Yesterday was better for Rob he ate a little breakfast and had 2 milkshakes with yogurt, ice cream and half a banana.
Tomorrow we go back to the hospital for a checkup and blood work.

Rob did not do very well yesterday and today he doesn't seem to be any better. You don't realize how many times in a day your toilet is used and how much bacteria is on your toilet until you have to clean it every time you use it and every time your children use it. I cleaned it last night 10 times and Chris cleaned it about 10 times. Lysol is going to make a fortune off of us, lol!!
I spoke with the unit Rob was in at the hospital and they said that his nausea is out of control and told me how to get it back under control. So far it doesn't seem to be working. They said to take something at 8, then 9, then 10, then 11. We did that and he doesn't seem to be better. He came out of the bedroom this morning for awhile and then it was time for gravol so now he is having a nap.
Robs mom (Chris) said to me yesterday, no wonder you don't do laundry you have so much clothes for the boys. It is so true she is catching me up on all my laundry she sorted the laundry and there is 12 loads of laundry to do. She said to me I only have 5 left, lol!! I think I have a problem doing laundry.

Rob is home now. The hospital sent him out on a day pass. He called me and said they are kicking me out. The ride home was horrible, he made it and then the nausea hit him as soon as he got home and he didn't make it into the house. He went straight for bed and just wants to lay there he doesn't want to watch a movie play a game or even listen to music. I asked him how it felt on the ride home and he said like a really bad hangover but worse. Some questions you might have are what about if he isn't eating? It is normal for him to not want to eat for a few days after and that is ok, he had breakfast this morning but doesn't want anything right now. If there are any concerns like a fever or chills then we can take him in right away and he doesn't have to go through being admitted again. They gave him medication so he doesn't catch chicken pox, medications so he doesn't catch pneumonia, and 3 different nausea medications that he can alternate and take every 2 hours. Robs blood counts for today
White blood cells (Immune system) are 3.6 normal is 4-11 that is why he has to take the pills for pneumonia and chicken pox, measles and mumps.
Red blood cells (carry oxygen) 138 normal is 137-180
Platelets (clots your blood 104 normal is 150-400

On another note it is just one issue after another... my jeep is broken AGAIN!! I've been questioning them did they even look over the vehicle or just sell it. I know it is a small thing but my backup light has not been replaced and they said it was working when they filled out the inspection sheet when we bought it. The jeep has been in there every other week since and they still haven't bothered to check on it and fix it. The issue this time is the thermostat.

Yesterday was a really bad day for Rob it all just piled up. He doesn't want to eat, talk, watch tv, play games. He doesn't want to do anything but sit there with his eyes closed. I asked him today to describe to me what he was going through. He said my head is hot, cold, hot, cold, I feel like I am going to puke, not puke, puke, not puke. I asked so like a really bad flu, he said yes but WORSE. There is no chemo today but he feels like crap, he didn't eat breakfast or lunch. I doubt he is going to come home today, maybe tomorrow. Robs white blood cell count went down to 6.1, and the red went up to 136 and his platelets went up to 107. Yesterday I got an unexpected and very welcomed from call. It was the best distraction. Thank you Everyone has a part in all of this it is so amazing to see how people react when there part is called, wheather you drive here and just sit here and say nothing just to be here, or just being ready at a moments notice if called upon, or shopping for groceries, texting just to say I am thinking about you, is there anything I can do for you. Calling to talk about other things as a way of distraction. Some people have gone above and beyond what their part called for. They saw a hole missing in the play and filled it with improvising. The things you remember most about a play are the one liners, they are little and usually happen when improvising. It is all the little things that add up and make this all come together.

I am back at the hospital Rob is sleeping he passed out as soon as I got here. He had a little lunch but I wished he would have eaten more. The doctor came in just after I got here and checked him over and everything is good except he is retaining too much fluid. They are giving him an extra dose of Lasik and it makes him flush the fluid out. Every day they take his blood and let us keep track of his blood counts as well. I will post them as we get them todays are:

White blood cells (immune system) 8.9 should be between 4-11 so those are ok

Red blood cells ( carry oxygen around) 91 should be between 137-180 they are ok.. less than 80 they will do a blood transfusion

Platelets (clot your blood) 85 they should be between 150 and 400, less than 10 they will do a blood tranfusion.

If Rob is feeling up to it he could go home tonight. One of the drugs he is having makes him sick later instead of right away so last night he was feeling sick and they gave him gravol around 10. They will send some pills home with us.
I am eating oatmeal cookies and oatmeal cake that is ok for lunch right?? it has oatmeal in it lol!!

Robs mom is here and again I want to say how grateful we are to have friends and family be here to help and visit. It is so amazing that Robs family from 560km and more away take the trip out here. It is sad that people 20 min away can't make it. I should probably take that last sentence off but it is the truth and that is what a blog is for, if you don't like it, don't read it :)

I am back at the hospital. Yesterday was not good. The chemo hit Rob like a ton of bricks and he was very sick. They gave him gravol and that seemed to do the trick. He had a nap and it was better as well. Today when I got here he was into his chemo treatment for about four and a half hours. He is really red they said he is having an allergic reaction to the chemo and that if it is itchy and irritating then they would give him benedryl. It doesn't seem to bother him at the moment.
Tomorrow will be the same thing chemo treatment from 8 until 4.
Last night as I was leaving there was a little girl about 7 or 8 years old and she was crying. She was saying bye to her mom. Her grandpa was standing there with the little girls suitcase. The little girl was saying I can't I can't. She didn't want to say bye and leave her mom for the night. It was the sadest and hardest thing to see. It got me to thinking how blessed we are that my mom has been so involved since the boys were born that for them to spend a few days at Grandmas is ok. They love it there. I was talking to Seth last night and my mom was telling him say hi to mom. Seth said hi then asks my mom can I go downstairs now. Lol!! at this point I am happy he is there but he doesn't even miss me, lol. Then I was talking to Tyler and I said I will see you tomorrow and he says after I sleep, awww I had a tear in my eye and said yes after you sleep and then I will see you at supper.
I have a thought for you. It is so easy to say and actually mean you would die for someone you love. Would you endure the mental stress, anguish, pain, boredom, uncomfortable procedures, pity, a year of your life for the procedure and recovery time, time away from your children, life and family for someone you love. Would you trade places with someone you love? I don't mean your child I mean your spouse, brother, sister, or a parent. The answer doesn't matter I couldn't trade places anyway, we all have our part and I am much better to lean on then have to lean on other people.
Thank you for your words of strength, I will continue to be a rock and lucky for me when the rock cracks I have super glue in my back pocket.

I am back at the hospital today and Rob is having chemo. He has 4 bags of chemo and fluid hooked up and running. He will be having chemo tomorrow as well. Rob said he didn't get any sleep last night. The nurses came in like every 2 hours to take his vitals, give him pills and take blood samples.
Last night on the way home I had some major road rage on the Deerfoot 500. I cut a guy off cause I didn't have a choice and he flashed his high beams at me. I was like no problem I would have done the same. Then he drives by me blarring his horn and so I moved over to take my exit. He gets behind me and starts flashing me again. So I slowed right down in a hurry and then took off. We came to a red light and he was so close to me that I put the Jeep in reverse and my sensors starting beeping at me. Then I waited till the light turned yellow and then I gassed it through the light and he followed on the red. Then he followed me to the gas station and when i got out he starting laughing, and laughing, cause I was a girl. He says to me what you think you are so tuff. I swore at him, and said why are you following me? He's like cause we are going to call the cops. lol!! I said oh sure lets do that. We go into the gas station and he starts lipping me off. I said a few nasty things to him, told him not to mess with me today because I just left my husband at the hospital for cancer the second time in under a year. He started to say oh your going to take it out on me cause you are having a bad day. Then two young boys in the gas station, came over and said to the guy something like why are you coming in here yelling at a young girl. I told them don't worry it was just a little road rage. Anyway the guy ended up apologizing and I said are we good now or do you still want to call the cops, he says no no we are good. So I left. I got home and just melted I sat in the jeep for like 5 mins just crying. I think the lesson is don't have road rage because you don't know what that person has already endured for the day and you don't know if they will take it out on someone when they get home.

We just did video call with my mom so we could talk to the boys and Seth gets on the phone and says you have an owee? you at the doctor? Tyler gets on and asks all the same questions and then asks you have a hurt daddy?

I am posting this from Roberts room at the hospital. I am facing south and out the window I see 3 pigeons on the window sill. Normally I don't like pigeons but they are a welcome sight right now. They have this shiny row of feathers around their neck that is like the fiber optics toys I had as a kid.
Rob had the CVC put in his chest today it is a line that goes in a large vein in his neck that goes straight to his heart and it will remain there for the duration of the transplant and for a time after. The purpose of the CVC is so he does not have to get an IV every time and it will keep his veins in his arms from getting weak. The insertion of the CVC went very well, he had mild sedation and fentanal (spelling it is a narcotic), he now has a room in the Foothills Hospital. I think he is in a lot of pain now though because of the CVC. Rob will not take tylenol for a headache and they asked him if he wanted something for the pain and he said yes. I looked like I was moving in I had his suitcase on wheels, two pillows (for him), a BIG blanket and shoes for me, lol!!
I want to say thank you to all our family that has helped so far. Thank you so much we couldn't do this without you. Thank you for your emotional support. Thank you for taking the time out of your lives and away from your duties to be with us. Thank you for your understanding. Thank you for your financial support. Thank you for watching our children, we know they are in good hands and that means one less and very major thing we do not have to worry about. Thank you for travelling hours just to be here. We love you and know it is hard on you guys too.

Monday was a very long day. We were at the hospital all day learning about stuff. We took a tour of the unit Rob will be staying in. We got more information from the nurse about everything. It was very overwhelming. I just wanted to come home and sleep. I am so happy and thankful that my brother and sister in-law are here. They kept me going and they saw that Rob didn't want them to go quite yet so they are staying another day. Rob will be admitted on Wednesday so if you don't have a cold and you are not sick then please go and visit him. No children under the age of 10.
I was talking with my sister in-law about the last time Rob went through this and we asked our selves if we just stuck our head in the sand. It felt like we just turned a blind eye, Rob and I would go to chemo on Wednesday and then he took Thursday off and was back to work on Monday. We would forget about it for a week and start again the next Wednesday. This time I think there is so much more awareness and involvement from others not just the patient. Yesterday at the meetings Tina and I had to suck our breathe in to keep from crying, in was very intense and black and white.

Today was a good day. Rob had some more tests today, one of them was a breathing test. They have a new machine and he had to breathe into it really deep and then exhale all of the air out of his lungs and then another test he had to inhale really deep and hold it for 10 seconds. The test was to see how fast the oxygen got to his blood and the durability of his lungs. He passed. He had a physical with the doctor and passed as well. We also found out today that children under 12 are not allowed to visit when he is in the hospital because they are walking viruses. lol!! they are so cute though.
I was talking to a nurse yesterday and she said this whole process (stem cell transplant) that Rob is going through costs 100-120,000.00 WOW!! thank God for free health care.

I feel so bad for Rob he was off of work all last week because he was so sick, and then this morning he got up and went to work, did the yard check, puked and then came back home to bed.
Rob will be starting testing on Tuesday. There is bone marrow biopsy on Tuesday, last time he had that done his bones were so sore. This time there are going to sedate him. He will still be sore after.
Rob has such wonderful family there are taking time off and coming here to spend time with him.

I keep thinking something is out to get my family. First Garth was really sick with the flu he had a fever of 102 for 2 days and the same with Rob and now today I got it, to top it all off I fell down the stairs yesterday. It hurt so bad. I have been in bed for 21 hours and it just seems to hurt more. I have a massive headache and I don't want to move. I have the best mommy ever she came and got the boys as soon as I called her this morning. Rob left the vitamin C on the counter and Seth ate a bunch this morning I don't know how much, my mom said he seems fine, he is starting to get a cough though.

Today was the meeting with the doctor and nurse that will be looking after Robs treatment. Things are a little clearer.
Day 1 He will go in and receive a CVC which is a tube that will be inserted into his chest, that will allow them to draw blood, give him chemo treatment, draw his stem cells and put them back. He will not have to get an IV every time.
Day 2 and 3 receive chemo
Day 4-13 recover in hospital and at home, he can leave the hospital if he is feeling ok on a pass but the bed will remain open for him and he can return at anytime without being re-admitted.
Day 14-18 he will receive GCSF and it will increase his stem cells
Day 19-21 collect stem cells from the blood system.
1-2 weeks off
then count down begins.
Day -2 admitted to hospital for hydration
Day -1 Chemo
Day 0 give stem cells back
Day +1 - +14 recover in hospital.
This is a general guide line there may be a few added days if he doesn't have enough stem cells to retrieve and if he does not recover well.

I was thinking back today on how this all started. Rob was scratching his armpit and found the lump, he showed me ewww I can't believe I put my finger there and I booked him an appointment with our family doctor. Our doctor said he was concerned and sent him for some scans and then a biopsy and well you know the rest. It shows you the importance of physical exams and if you can't get to a doctor then you should do them yourself.

Last time Rob went through cancer I didn't talk about it much and I feel looking back that I should have written more it may have helped me. I feel I have to be so many people. I have so many jobs. I am a wife to the best man in the whole world, he is strong and understanding, I love him and he is my best friend. I am a mom to two wonderful children, they are really smart and make me smile. I am a Big Sister to Garth, he has so much energy just bubbling, he is a great person and will do great things with his life, he lives with us now. I am a school bus driver, and I am a home maker. I have to do all these jobs in one day, and each job requires me to be a little different.
I am just having a hard time today. It is a little hard to get out what I am feeling. The process that was explained to us so far was Rob will have to take shots that will increase his stem cells which are found in your bone marrow, the shots will overload the bone marrow and cause it to put the stem cells into his blood, at which point they will collect them and freeze them. He will be hooked up to a machine while they cycle his blood to extract the stem cells. Then he will get a high dose of chemotherapy that will destroy the cells including his bone marrow, he will be hospitalized during this time. Then they will give him his stem cells back and they will repair the bone marrow and things should return back to normal. He will have to be immunized for measles and mumps because the chemo will likely have erased his cells to be able to fight it off. After he returns from the hospital it is unlikely he will be able to return to work full time for 6 months. He fought the odds last time and worked through the whole treatment. There are a lot of other side affects as well. He will not be able to eat out unless he is super careful, for instance going to a fast food restaurant he will have to order a burger with just a bun and ask for individual condiments on the side. He cannot have the lettuce onion or tomato on his burger because they may not have been washed properly. He can't have steak medium rare like he likes it, it will have to be fully cooked. Those are just a few of the things.
I want to keep my job because it offers distraction but if they can't give me the time off that I need which I understand if they can't I will have to quit.
On top of all of that the amount that we will have to pay for this is crazy we have coverage but it only covers 80%.
I just want to close my eyes till this is all done.