I am sitting here awkwardly typing as baby Zander sleeps in the crook of one arm and the wireless keyboard is propped up by the pillow supporting my arm. I carry Zander around everywhere. On Monday Rob was home and I think I put Zander down for an hour. I am going to need some serious massage therapy when he gets older. I am loving every minute and wish it would slow down. That is the advice every new mom gets, hold them while you can and enjoy it all. Of course we all stress and don't get to enjoy it, but this time things are so different. Every time I look at Zander I remember what a little miracle he is.
I feel like I don't know how to function these last couple of days, there is no drama right now, I am used to things being so stressful and full of drama. To just sit back and relax and to just do the normal day to day stuff seems so calm. I can take twice as long to do the normal day to day stuff because there is no drama to deal with when I am done.
Our Christmas was fantastic. The boys got some much needed toys, they have kept busy with them. We had breakfast at my dads and supper at my moms. At my moms dinner was lasagne and chicken manicotti with alfredo sauce. We like to do something other than turkey for christmas dinner because most people have more than one christmas dinner they go to and then sick of turkey. Clean up is so much easier too. Every year we find a price point for each person and get one gift that is from all of us. Usually they give me the money and I do it for everyone, but this year because I was pregnant and then busy with a new baby we drew names. They got me the cake pops maker. I tried it out after dinner, it was pretty cool, I couldn't figure out how to get the sticks to stay in the cake, because it is all fluffy inside and not dense like the other ones I make. I think with chocolate it might work better. It did taste good though. My mom got the mini cupcake one, it takes 5-7 minutes to cook the cake pops.

I feel so blessed to have a man like my husband in my life. He is so amazing, he works hard at his job and comes home and still manages to have enough energy for us and the things that need to be done around the house. If you have read the twilight saga he is like Jasper, as soon as he walks into the room I am calm, it doesn't matter how stressed I have been. He is my best friend and the first person I go to when something is wrong. I couldn't imagine my life without him, Happy Birthday Robert Mairs.

Zander and I are doing great. We went to the doctor for our 2 week checkup just because he was jaundice and he is good now. He has passed his birth weight and he is 10 pounds and 1 ounce. I don't know if it maturity or the that he is such a miracle, but things are so different this time around. I think it is maturity. Having a baby in the house made me look at Seth and Tyler and I was shocked, when did they grow up?? Tyler said to me I'm not the baby anymore.

Well we have made it though 2 nights, Zander has done really well, he slept for 4 hours straight both nights.

If you are a guy I would stop reading now, seriously stop now. Well we finally made it home. It has been a very long week. We went into the hospital on Monday night at 8PM, it started at 6PM at home I had this really long cramp and it was so painful to walk it brought me to tears and I would stop and lean on something. I called the health link and they said I should go to the hospital immediately. When I got there the contractions started and were consistent of every 10 min. Because there was a plan to induce me anytime after the 27th, they decided to keep me and see how I progressed on my own and if I didn't they would induce me. I did progress on my own till 2 1/2cm but then stayed there. They do not consider you in active labor with your third child until 4 cm. They induced me at around 5AM and turned it up every half an hour, they start at 1 and end at 20. I ended up at 20. I still didn't go past 3 1/2 cm so my doctor was going to break my water but didn't cause she didn't feel comfortable with how high baby's head was. The OB team came in to assess me and he broke my water and guided babies head down to ensure that the cord didn't slip out first. Then they left me and I went into hard labor right away and within 3 hours I was ready to push. The epidural DIDN'T work at this point, I was told it did work and I was just feeling the peak of the contraction which lasted about 20-30 seconds every 3 minutes. I couldn't imagine what that would have felt like if I felt it all. They gave me a stronger drug for the last hour and that seemed to help. During the contractions the babies heart beat kept dipping the lowest it dipped was 80 once, so they knew there was an issue. They kept me on one side and that seemed to work for the most part but baby was not coming down even though I was fully dilated, meaning there was a problem we just didn't know what it was. The OB was there again and quickly assessed and said he was going to use the vacuum. They told me when to push and the doctor used the vacuum, when the babies head came out the doctor was right on him, he suspected the cord was around his neck, he cut it right away, and we kept on. When babies shoulders came out one of them got stuck behind my pelvic bone, the doctor helped baby get unstuck. After the placenta came out the nurse took a closer look and saw there was a true knot in the babies cord, not just a kink. This most likely happened early in the first trimester. He couldn't come down because his cord was so short, since it had a knot and was around his neck. We are so lucky and blessed to have Zander Joseph Reid Mairs join our family. He was born on November 29, 2011, at 3:33PM, he was 9.8oz. and 21 inches long. Thank you God for having the right team on duty that night and for watching over Zander right from conception. He had low blood sugar after which is why we were in the hospital for so long, but he is ok now and there is no concern for low blood sugar at this time.
As for me I can't believe I did it, I hadn't slept for over 36 hours by the time he was born. There was so much adrenaline going through me, I was shaking for a couple hours after he was born. I was up within 2 hours of him being born and felt great. There was no stitches, swelling or pain. I am so thankful. I do feel the pain of my uterus contracting but thats it.
Seth and Tyler came in to meet Zander and got to hold him for a second. Seth and Tyler asked if Zander was my baby and I said yes, and your baby too, Seth then asked can he sleep in my room, lol it was so cute.

I went to my Doctor yesterday and she offered me a c-section. It is not offered to everyone but because I had gestational diabetes and the baby is estimated over 4.5 kg they offered it. The other option is to induce me early. The cons for inducing are if the baby is as big as the ultrasound says his shoulders could get stuck and cause nerve damage in his arm, sometimes the damage might be for a couple hours sometimes it could last a life time. The other problem that could occur is the cord might get pinched when his shoulders are stuck and cause brain damage. There are also many cons with having a c-section, infection, longer recovery, lots of bleeding, mostly the problems that could occur would effect me. I have chosen to be induced and if something goes wrong to have a c-section, because with them being warned that I may end up with a c-section the team will be there and be ready. Also I choose this option because they told me of a study that they did with women who were estimated to have big babies. They asked the mother, the doctor and the ultrasound to guess the weight of the baby. It turns out the mom was right most of the time the doctor was second and the ultrasound was last. So there is a good chance that the baby is not 9.2oz. I feel that the baby is around the same size as the boys were. I will be 38 weeks Sunday and the doctor said anytime after the 27th I could be induced, I told her that it would have to be December 3 because I had to many appointments this week, lol!! I am not joking either, but also why not wait as long as possible.

Well I just came back from having yet another ultrasound. They are estimating that the baby is 9.2 pounds..... oh dear!! I asked the doctor that saw me at the ultrasound if he was going to recommend they induce me and he told me they did a study of women with larger babies of inducing them or waiting. The results were if they induced early there was a higher risk of having to have a c-section. So I think I will wait, also there are lots and lots or contractions so they are actually doing something good.

Yesterday was Rob's 6 month check up appointment. The doctor said everything looks good. His platelets are a little low. His immune system has come up. Rob doesn't have any symptoms that some people would be having at this stage. The doctor said there was new research and treatment for Rob's type of Lymphoma. It is just a really strong antibiotic that is not as hard on your body and really simple to take. It was mainly used on older patients, and after following them for 3 years there was a 90% success rate. This research would not have changed anything they did for Rob, but could be helpful in the future. They will continue to follow him every 3 months. for the first year.
As for me, I am very ready to have this baby, yesterday was the first day I finally said I was ready, not just cause I am sore. I am ready and excited for everything that comes with a new baby.

Well today is the first day I am officially on Maternity leave. I thought I was supposed to work yesterday, I had the bus still. I called in to say I was working and I got a call from the manager saying there was a mix up and that they had someone else on my route already for yesterday and he said they would still pay me. I was all dressed up yesterday with no where to go, I didn't know what to do with myself so I folded 2 loads of laundry did the dishes, showered, looked at the clock and it was only 9:30AM. So today I sit here thinking of the things I can do today the list is exciting, lol! Clean the bathroom, fold the other 3 loads of laundry, dust, sweep and mop the floors, and make pumpkin muffins.

Halloween was great last night. I didn't go but Rob and my mom went out with the 5 younger ones and the older ones went on their own. Seth was a penguin and Rob said for the first few houses he would knock say "trick or treat, I'm a penguin". lol! he was so proud of the fact that he was a penguin. Tyler would yell "trick or treat" when he was half way to the peoples door. lol! Rob also said that at a couple houses Tyler said "more please" lol! and they gave him more.
I also had my ultrasound yesterday and the cord and baby have moved into a good position. They said it is highly unlikely the cord will move again to a wrong position. The baby gained .7 ounces in a week. I gained 6 pounds????? how did that happen? lol they are saying it was fluid that caused the weight gain. It looks like there will be one more ultrasound and thats it. That takes some stress off of me to know that things are ok, he is just a big boy, God help me!!

I am stressed beyond words. I am in so much pain. My family is going through the flu. Currently Seth has it and Tyler and I just finished it and I still have a cold. Also other stuff going on that is stressful.
As I said in the last post I was in the hospital on Sunday and they sent me for an ultrasound Monday. The doctor called me today to tell me that the baby is head down like he should be but the cord in hanging between his head and my cervix. It should have moved by now, so they have to give me weekly ultrasounds to see if it has moved. The next ultrasound is Monday. The options from here are to see if the cord does move and if it doesn't then I can have an induced controlled delivery or a c-section, around 38 weeks. The risk is if I go into labor he is likely to not survive, because the cord will slip out first and he will pinch the cord on his way out and cut off his oxygen supply. They told me that if my water breaks at home to lay on my back, stick 3 pillows under my hips and call an ambulance. WOW!! how do you even process that, when I had the boys the goal was to go into labor and have your water break, now my goal is to not go into labor, so my water doesn't break.

There is a line when you are blogging and sharing information with your readers, it is make sure your parents know first. They shouldn't have to hear it from the blog or someone else who read the blog that told them.
On Sunday I was in the hospital because I caught the flu that was going around and being pregnant I got dehydrated really quickly, also I was puking up blood. The blood was just a tear in my throat, so it is sore but at least it wasn't an ulcer or something. When they hooked me up to monitor the baby, I was having contractions every 4 minutes, they went away as soon as I rolled to my side. They are always like that, and have been for about a week. The doctor scheduled me an ultrasound for yesterday, to make sure the baby wasn't coming early and if it showed he was they would have given me a shot of cortisone which would have developed his lungs quicker. They did a full ultrasound again which I don't think was necessary and it showed that the baby is 7.1 pounds and everything is developed so I am thinking he better come within the next 3 weeks or I am hooped, he will be a very big baby. If he does come within the next 3 weeks it will be the right timing for the first due date.
My mom is awesome and had the boys Saturday night anyway so she just kept them till today, so I could rest and rest I did for 12 hours straight. I am still tired, I had to force myself to go to work Monday afternoon because when I called in sick Monday morning 2 minutes after they turned the phones on 9 people had called in sick.
My last day will be November 7, there is this one student on the bus that stresses me out. He squeals at the top of his lungs for no reason and it is random, it makes my heart jump into my throat, keeping in mind I am driving, if he isn't doing that he is banging on the window, or tapping his seat. I can handle him tapping the seat if that keeps him busy and quiet but the other students don't like it.

I went to the doctor today and Seth and Tyler came with me. Seth was really grumpy and when the doctor came in she said uh oh someone having a bad day? I then said to her yeah he is getting sick, and she chuckled and said and then the next day when they get sick you look back at the day before and think you are a terrible mom for getting upset with them and you didn't know they were getting sick. lol! my comment was I feel like I am bi-polar I couldn't understand why I just snapped at them, I am sick too. I really hate these times I feel like crap but still have to go to work and drag them along with me and I still have to do all the stuff that needs to be done.
The doctor said that the baby is measuring two weeks ahead of what they are saying I am. I am not worried about it though because Seth and Tyler were the same way. The ultrasound last week said he was 5 pounds. I still haven't gained any weight since the last appointment. I think that means I am way to busy lol! I have been doing really good with the gestational diabetes. I know that when I drink milk my sugars go high and when I eat corn with any other carbohydrate. I stopped testing for awhile and I told the person at the clinic my excuse is if I don't know what my sugars are at I wont eat the cookie but if I know they are low then I will probably eat 2 cookies, and my fingers hurt from testing, she chuckled and said we still need you to check them. So I'm back to poking my fingers.

I wish I could tell you everything I have been up to but I can't. It is definitely taking it's toll on me though. As you know I have gestational diabetes again. I seem to be doing really well with it. I look huge but I am measuring exactly the same as I did with the boys, two weeks ahead. I almost gained a pound from my last appointment 2 weeks ago. I am excited for next weeks ultrasound, I want to know that baby is healthy and a normal size. I feel so unprepared for this pregnancy or maybe it is just life is going by so fast I am having a hard time catching up. We don't have a name yet, but the diaper bag is packed and waiting in a safe spot at the top of the stairs, lol! the baby will end up being called the baby, just like we named our cat and never call her by her name she gets called kitty. The baby is so active all the time, for instance last night for 1.5 hours he took a 15 min break. Active as in you can see my tummy move for an hour and a half.
So a couple of weeks ago, Tyler was talking non stop for a week how he was a big boy and he was going to ride with no training wheels, lol! so Rob took them off and Tyler just started riding without them. WOW! I am so amazed makes me think we should have taken Seth's off a year ago. So Rob, Seth and Tyler go for bike rides and I get alone time.... :):):):) oh wait thats not my point. Tyler was so proud of himself he had to show mommy, Grandma and all of her kids. The only thing is he couldn't start out on his own. I am extremely sore from this pregnancy so if I want to do anything it has to be in the morning, but I decided to push myself the other night. I knew Rob wasn't going to be home till after 8 and the kids would be in bed. They were really bored so I decided to walk while they rode their bikes to the park, the only thing is I can't help Tyler all the time. So I thought I would show him how to do it and after a little of "I can't" he did it and then wouldn't let me help him. There was a guy standing there while I was teaching Tyler and his mouth dropped and was like I can't believe he can do that.
The boys are doing really well in school. Tyler goes twice a week and Seth goes Monday to Thursday and every second Friday.

Well I think it is time for an update. I went to the doctor yesterday and was happy with the weight gain from last month, only 2 pounds, right on schedule. I have gestational diabetes again, and low platelets. I asked what caused low platelets and they said it is just a side effect of pregnancy and that it is not too low so they will just monitor it by testing every month. As for the diabetes I went to a clinic that is going to follow me for the rest of the pregnancy. They were shocked that no one did for the first pregnancy. They gave me a blood glucose machine to test myself and make sure I am ok.
I asked the doctor why I am so sore and she nicely looked at me and said "Because it is your 3rd pregnancy in 4 years"..... lol I was like yeah that would do it, I haven't been able to recover from the 2 in a row, I thought I was just getting old, lol I guess not.

We went out to my Aunt and Uncle's camping spot, it was an hour and half away from Calgary. My Grandma and Grandpa from Ontario were here to visit. We had a great time out there. We went for a walk to see the water, we couldn't get close because there is a cliff and there was no way down, but the view was really nice. I thought I would take the opportunity to take pictures of everyone while they were here.

Rob and I worked all day yesterday and we wanted to take a break with the boys so we went over to the water park before dinner. It is a small water park that is close to our house. It is fenced and there is a small park in it as well. Rob played with the boys in the water and at the park. There was this one time Rob was filling his hands up to splash the boys and this other little boy just splashed him with his bottle of water on purpose, lol!! I was laughing so hard Rob was shocked and I couldn't believe the little boy did that. So then it became a game and this other little boy joined in the fun with his squirt gun. They were chasing Rob around the park trying to splash him. The mother of the first boy came over to me and asked how all of it started and I told her and she was shocked because the little boy is an introvert and mostly keeps to himself. She quite enjoyed watching him play like that. I loved watching it all too, mostly I was happy to see that Seth and Tyler were able to share Rob, it didn't even bother them. They were happy to play on their own and didn't feel like they had to be right in the middle with Rob.

As for baby update...... I saw the specialist last week and it seems the due date has changed AGAIN!! it is now December 11, 2011. The reason for all the date changes is I had gotten the first ultrasound in the hospital and didn't go back to see the emergency doctor, so we just used the dates that I had said. Then when I spoke to my family doctor he hadn't received the ultrasound from the hospital either. Then when I went for the 18 week ultrasound the technician looked ordered the first ultrasound and then said I was 17 weeks at the time. Then when I saw the OB they only went of off the first ultrasound and said that my date was December 11. I am low on platelets which can happen sometimes, so they will test again and if it is low I will have to go every month to get blood work. I asked for another ultrasound and they are going to give me one for about 32 weeks, I want to make sure it is still a boy lol!! JK! and they want to make sure that things are ok because of Rob and because I am fat, no really not joking. My BMI (body mass index) was high before I got pregnant. I have lost 3 pounds in the pregnancy, I think it is because I haven't stopped moving I am so busy.
I start work on Thursday and Seth starts school I am so excited, I am able to take Seth to school and pick him up and still get to my route on time. My first pick up is in my community.

We went to play paintball at Capture the Flag out by Cochrane yesterday. It was really neat to see Rob play for the first time. I asked him if it was like a live video game and he said pretty much. He didn't get hit too much, lol! he has 3 small welts on him, all in the chest area.

Donovan let Gill and I shoot him, with a paintball, I got him in the back of the arm and Gill got him right in the back. He had a few other welts from hits out in the field. Donovan was pretty sore when he left, lol battle wounds.

The picture of me is so wrong a gun and my purse, lol! I took Donovans gun to the target area and shot off a few paint balls, that was pretty cool. I hit all the targets I was aiming for, a few of them took a second shot but I did get it. While we were out there we saw at least 6 bachelor parties. They always had the groom dress up it was funny, one of them the groom was in a white costume, so it was easy to pick him out. I asked a couple of the guys before I realized why they were out there if they lost a bet is that why they were wearing a dress and they both said a bachelor party and someone in the group piped up same thing he lost a bet, lol! It was a great day!

Posted a cake on my other blog....... click here to check it out

Well we made it through the fist week of going back to work. They asked Rob to work the Friday as well, his normal shift is Mon to Thurs, on Thursday night he didn't make it home till 9:30PM. Then got up to be at work at 7AM.
I called my work to let them know that I am still available and that I really need to work and thankfully they have been giving me work now. I worked Thursday and Friday and so far Tuesday of next week. We have gone from neither of us working to working full time, it is a major adjustment.
Seth and Tyler are doing really well with the adjustment, they ask is daddy at work and then thats the end of it.
I have to say I am addicted to Kijiji, we have gotten some good stuff that we needed off of it. Rob got some wood to build something he wanted outside, some pretty white rocks for the side of the house, and I got some things for the baby, a baby swing and a bassinet. My room is really small for the crib, I made it work with both the boys but the bassinet will make it so much better. I also got a jolly jumper.

Today was Robs first day back, He came home at 2:30PM usually he wouldn't be home until 6PM. I jumped up and was all worried and asked "why are you home so early?" and he said "because it is a holiday and no one is open", oh ok now I can breathe. Then he decides to make a joke and was like I'm so tired I couldn't finish, lol!!
I asked Rob last night if he was nervous, excited or happy to go back to work and he said happy, as in the sense this is one step closer to things returning to normal.

I managed to get though the day, lol! Rob has been so amazing to have around I can't even begin to describe. He entertained the kids, took them for bike rides, just sat and watched them play outside, and he always helped me with dinner and clean up. I was able to nap everyday. Before you think that sounds so awesome remember why he was here. For the last 2 months Rob has been here and we became best best friends, I know that sounds so lame, but when we can spend all day together and still find stuff to talk about that is more than just best friends.

Sometimes things are hard to process and when we were at the doctors we heard there is no more lymphoma so we sorta just stopped hearing things after that, we were so focused on hearing it was gone nothing else really mattered. Then after some time we processed what else was said and his neutrophils (the part of the white blood cell that is actually his immune system) are at 1.7 instead of the normal 4-6. The doctor said that is more than enough to get by in life and that below one she would be worried.

As for the comment on the previous post when we found out it was a boy we were driving in our Jeep Commander, I say that because it seats 7. I said to Rob oh well we will just have to try again and he says theres room for 5 in the back, lol!

We went to Robs appointment today, and the scan results are GREAT!! There is no spots of lymphoma, there are a few spots that are scar tissue. The doctor said that he is in a full remission. I was about to tell the doctor what Rob has been doing for the last week and the doctor stuck her fingers in her ears and said "lalala I don't want to hear it, lol what I don't know doesn't hurt me". It was so funny. So she said if he is ok to go back to work than go for it. He is going back to full duties starting Monday. So I did ask the question if he doesn't stay in remission what would the next step be and she said if in 6 to 12 months it came back they would do somewhat of the same procedure just more intense chemo, I thought this was pretty intense. So if it comes back in 10 years they would consider the same treatment. The options are not as bad as I thought they would be.

As for baby, he is very active. I have been off of the diclectin for the last week and I haven't been sick so I am happy to be done with that. I am so glad I starting making room for the baby now it is such a major job for me, I couldn't have done it at a later date. I had to move all my crafts downstairs and add another dresser to Tyler's room and make room for the baby in our room.

Seth and Tyler are doing really well too. Seth just went on a very long bike ride with daddy. They went down to the water, Tyler was too tired or we would have all went. Honestly I am happy he is too tired I went yesterday and my thighs hit my stomach so I can only handle so much.

My mom had a surprise party for Mark and I. My mom thought she was being so sneaky it was kinda cute. She told Mark it was a surprise for me and she told me it was a surprise for Mark. I clued in right away because she has never had a party for Mark that I can remember and certainly not a surprise party. It was a really nice night.
My mom gave me a memory gel foam for my bed it is so awesome, I had the best sleep ever. Mark and Loro gave me an air brush machine for cakes. Micheals is sold out of them so I have to wait until they get more in to get it but I am so excited for it.

July has been a great month I have enjoyed Rob being around. Last week Rob and I went camping with my mom and her kids in Wiaprous. The boys went to Vernon with Nana and Papa and they went camping. They had lots of stories to tell, so I know they had a great time. Rob and I had a good time as well, he went off quading for 4 hours a day with Brandon. I tried to go but I felt uncomfortable so I didn't go again. I think if I was under 3 months it would have been easier. I had a good time visiting with my mom. We brought a baby name book out to the woods it has over 100,000 names in it and we still don't have a name, I think that is the problem there were to many names to choose from.

When Seth and Tyler were camping with Nana and Papa they tried to go for a bike ride and Tyler just had the trike so he couldn't keep up with the kids, so they went to Canadian Tire and bought Seth this awesome bike, it has shocks, lol! Then they were able to give the little bike to Tyler and Seth had the new one and they were able to go on the bike ride. We had to take the bike apart to fit it in the car when we picked up the boys and when we got home Rob didn't put the training wheels on and thought he would see how Seth would do without them. Seth knew they were not on there and was willing to try, he got on and went for about 20 feet then almost hit a tree so he stopped and let the bike fall over a bit. After that he didn't fall, he rode his bike for an hour and a half. Rob had to help him start going for the first 45 min and then Rob got his bike out cause he couldn't keep up with the boys by foot, and Seth didn't have a problem starting out on his own. I was watching Seth learn to ride and of course I started crying, lol! Rob comes back and says well that was a good 3 second lesson. Seth has amazing balance and we think it is from all the time Rob spent holding Seth in the air on his bum. He learned balance at a young age. I have never seen a child just get on a bike and go, we asked Seth if he wanted his training wheels back on and he was so like NOOOO!! lol!! I remember when I learned to ride they took one training wheel off and then switched to the other side and then took them off, it was a long process not just bam take them off and I was good to go. Seth was so proud of himself Rob said every person they passed Seth said I can ride with no training wheels, he called Grandma to tell her and made sure that she told Norman, lol!

Rob is doing really well, when he wakes up and for most of the day he says his muscles are sore but he just keeps on going. He says I wont get better if I stay still. Today Rob is at the hospital getting a CT Scan that will show how large (small) the lyphoma is and it will show which ones are active if any. This scan should show lumps that will most likely be scar tissue and non should be active. I remember going through this part the last time he had chemo treatment and today is a very different feeling. Last time Rob even said I don't feel it is over. I didn't feel it was over because there is no closure to something like this. You really have to learn to live with it, or above it like I have, or you would just go mental. What I mean by living above it is I can handle anything and I will not let it slow me down, or harm my life and well being in any way. Wow that sounds like a AA meeting line, lol! So today's feeling is I am going to have a good week, we will see what the doctors say on Monday and go from there. I don't feel any what ifs like last time. I don't care what the next option is because we wont be needing it.
Robs hair is growing back and it is platinum WHITE, not grey or light brown it is as white as it gets lol. It is so soft just like when a baby is born. I think the biggest news of this post is Rob is going back to work about 2 months before the suggested minimum, he will be returning on August 1st, on my birthday, his supervisor said it was perfect for me, that was my present to get Rob out of my hair, lol! From the sounds of it Rob will be returning to work full time and full duties not light duties like we had thought. This is his choice he said he did not want to sit at a desk all day and he made a good point he has worked harder at home than he does at work. He has done a lot around here by choice.

We went to Vernon for July long weekend to visit with family and watch them play baseball. The teams were great this year and we had a blast. They taught me how to keep score and I was so happy to be a part of the team because I couldn't play this year. Then we came home and Rob and the boys went camping with my mom, I followed a day later. We went to Old Macdonald farm for the week there was so much to do there. They had these pedal go carts you can rent, everyone loved them. They had mini golf, we didn't play this time because it was so nice out. The boys loved the beach and the water, they played there so much. I brought them these trucks that hold sand and then dump it and they loved it they just went in and out of the water with the trucks. They also had peddle boats you could rent but the day we were going to do it the wind was too strong. We had the best time there and want to go again next year. I only have a couple of pics because my mom dropped the camera in the sand so I let it dry out for the week. I think it is working now but when you turn it on and the lens comes out you can hear the sand grinding.
Now the boys are off to another week of camping with Nana and Grandpa. They are going to come home after 3 weeks of being outside and not want to come in. They have been gone for 5 minutes and I miss them already. Well I am off to get ready for work it is going to be great today.

To all my blog readers, I would like to take the time to share something with you I haven't really yet. On February 17, we became the legal guardian to my foster brother, just 5 days before we found out about Robs cancer. He has stayed with us for the past 4 months. The first few months were really good, he was a lot of fun to be around, he brought a smile to my face, he thinks about things so differently it made me laugh. For example there is a song my Rihanna that says "whats my name", he said to me I don't like that artist she doesn't even know her own name, lol then this other song by Bruno Mars is "I'd catch a grenade for you", he says dude if she is getting grenades thrown at her she is probably messed up in some bad stuff. Lol! always made me laugh. The boys loved him so much. He was always polite when we had people over and when we went places. Then all of sudden something changed, and things started going down hill, they spiraled out of control and I couldn't reach out to him. I tried so hard. He has left us just last week and left us a parting bill, we don't know the cost yet till we get an estimate done. As much as I know that we couldn't be the people he needed, it is so sad to see him leave us. I feel like I lost a child of my own, it hurts a lot and I miss him very much. I feel like I failed, I know that is not whats important, its important that we tried.

On another note Rob and I went to his appointment for blood work. The doctor was very happy with the progress Rob is making and said if he is up to going back to work in August then go for it. He has a CT scan scheduled for July 19.

I went for an ultrasound today and they updated their equipment, it was so amazing to see the baby, I could make out what we were looking at without her telling me what it was. It wasn't as alien looking, you could actually see the white of the eye. The baby's foot is 2.18" long, so tiny and you could see all 5 toes. The baby is measuring just right for 18 weeks, everything looks good and normal. I will post later the gender of the baby for now it is a surprise for our parents.

Then after we finished helping the people with the flat tire around 8PM, I came inside made cupcakes, a 3 tiered cake and potato salad. The cupcakes and potato salad were for Seths grad and the cake is for a party tonight. It has been a very busy last few days. I like the top right picture Seth is going to be a good big brother again.

We tried to go to Calaway park on Wednesday and they have spring hours so they are open from 10-2:30 we got there at 1:30 cause Seth had school. I felt so bad for the boys they were so sad, so we got up early on Thursday and went to Calaway. We had a really good time, the weather was perfect.

Last night a young couple and some of their friends were driving around here and heard a loud noise so they pulled down our street and it turns out they had a flat tire and he already had the dummy tire on. He had an extra tire but it wasn't on the rim so the guy and Rob tried for an hour to get on. Meanwhile I was calling everywhere to see if how much they would charge to put it on, the only place open was Canadian Tire and none of them had time to do it before they closed. I was also on the computer at the same time checking to see if there were any hints for doing this without a machine, lol I found the mexican way to do it, they put oil on the tire. So Rob and the other guy tried it and they got it on in 10 minutes. There were 3 girls and 2 guys it was so hot our they were hungry and thirsty so I made them some ice tea, but didn't feed them cause they were going out for ribs. Then our awesome neighbor had the exact same tires that he had bought 2 years ago and they were just sitting in his yard, so he gave them to this complete stranger, it was so amazing I knew we had awesome neighbors but they went above and beyond. This guy with the broken down car just moved here.

Rob got a call from the hospital today and it looks like we have to go back on Monday instead of on the 27th. His white blood cells are a little low. They want to monitor them more closely, so every week instead of in 2 weeks.

Robs energy is slowly building. He is doing awesome. The doctors are happy with his progress. At the hospital on Monday they were asking us if he had this or that, and the only thing he had was a little hearing loss and loss of concentration. Things he didn't have that could be symptoms were swelling, loss of taste buds, cramps, loss of appetite, rash. I am sure there were more but I can't remember them all right now.

We bought the boys a quad today, it was so adorable, they just hopped on one at a time, and went for it. I came home from the afternoon run and Tyler is yelling at me from across the street, you want to watch me on the quad?, lol so I went out back to the alley and he just hops on goes to the end turns around and comes back, lol it was so cute, he did well and was so happy. Then Seth gets on and does the same thing, there is a remote for it that we can sound the horn, so Seth was driving and Rob had the remote. Seth didn't slow down as he was getting close to our dog (Oreo) so Rob sounded the horn and he knew to slow down. We can also turn off the quad with the remote, and they have a cord around their wrist attached to the key so if they fall off the quad will shut off.

I went to the doctor today and we heard the baby's heart beat it was 144. That made me feel so much better, I haven't really felt the baby much but the doctor said not until about 17-18 weeks do I start to feel it. For the most part I don't even feel pregnant and then 9PM hits and the nausea kicks in, lol I will take that over the nausea with Seth it was early in the morning and the pills didn't even help I would still throw up. I am going to try and go off of the pills again in about a week to see if I am ok. It seems like the slightest stress makes me sick, and the pills help with that, there are two thing in diclectin, an antihistamine to prevent the nausea and vitamin B6 to help with the vomiting action. I know it is safe to take I just don't like to take pills. I think natural is better, however I am sick of ginger, watermelon doesn't work, peppermint helps for like 5 minutes, and that is all I know for nausea, well gravol but I know that wouldn't work because I would just fall asleep.

Rob was able to go on a pass yesterday. He has to return to the hospital on Monday morning. They gave him pass meds as they call it. It is just all the medication that he needs to take while away from the hospital. He had to take 9 pills this morning at 8, then he takes 2-4 pills at 2PM, 4PM, 6PM, 8PM and 10PM. He is doing really well, like nothing ever happened, he is full of energy.

My mom bought a new trailer today. Rob and my mom had a great idea to rip apart the old trailer and use it for a utility trailer to take the quads to the camp site. Well Rob figured he would start on it today and then he did way too much. I think he was really excited to have a trailer for the quads, he has been on this quest for 2 months, his side is really sore. He worked on it for about 2 hours, considering he hasn't done anything all week because he was in the hospital I think he did really well.

Rob is doing so much better, he is on a double dose of antibiotics. They tested for an infection in his gestational track and it came back positive. I guess that would explain the pain in his stomach. He has to swallow the second dose of antibiotics because it will get to his stomach faster that way. It doesn't look like Rob will be out Thursday like we thought. He has to finish the antibiotics that go into his CVC line than they will pull it out and he can go home.

Wow Rob had a major jump in his white blood cells today, they went from .2 to 3.2. His stomach still hurts and the doctor is saying to keep an eye on it cause it is really inflammed. I have had this post up all day trying to think of stuff to say and I can't, lol I guess no news is good news

Rob is still at the hospital and will probably be here till Thursday. His fever went up to 40 yesterday and they did find 2 different infections in his line so he is on 2 different antibiotics. His stomach still hurts a lot but is getting better, he doesn't need anything for pain now just as long as he doesn't move. I was asked today why his stomach hurts. It is because the last chemo treatment he had which was Melphalan hurts the lining and mucous of your mouth, throat, stomach and gestational track, and he doesn't have an immune system to repair it. He is getting the shots that will bring up his white blood cells (immune system) and then his lining in his stomach will start to repair itself.

Today was the first day I was asked when I was due. I was so happy that means I have gone from just looking fat to actually looking pregnant.

Last night Robs fever went up to 38.2 and there seemed to be some puss coming from his line. I called the unit he goes to and the charge nurse suggested we come in. It was an exact repeat of what happened last time, he had no fever when we got here but the next day it shot up. It seems today he has a fever of 38.2. The doctor came in and saw him and his white blood counts are at .2 so that is up from 2 days ago of .1 and his platelets are at 23, which is down from 53. They want to keep the line in until his counts go up and then the doctor said they could probably take it out. They can't get one of the stitches out it is too tight and they can't get the scissors under it. His stomach sill hurts really bad, so bad that morphine doesn't even help for 5 minutes. They asked him on a scale of 1-10 how is the pain he says 8 or 9, that is pretty bad for Rob he can tolerate a lot. We know that this pain is normal but it still sucks and doesn't make it any better. We didn't come in last night because of the pain we came in because of the fever and the pussing line. The doctor said that tomorrow his counts should go up and he will start feeling better and he can probably go home tomorrow. The upside is Rob has done really well, they find that most patients are in the hospital on day 4 of the stem cell transplant Rob made it to day 10.

Rob has not been doing well these last few days, he says his gut hurts, like he has major cramps. Tylenol seems redundant at this point because it is the lining of his stomach that is damaged why make it worse.
I am not sure who is lucky, me or the teenager, lol!! I don't want to name him but most of you know. We went to court on Friday to deal with the two tickets he had for a total of $175.00. We got there and they looked up the ticket numbers and neither of them were there, the policemen that gave him the tickets didn't hand them into the courts. What are the odds of that 2 tickets?? He is lucky, but unfortunately didn't learn any lessons, and I am lucky I didn't have to pay for them.
check out thentherescake.blogspot.com. I just did some cake pops for my first paying client that wasn't my mom.

I didn't post yesterday because I tried to be a hero and not take my diclectin (helps nausea in pregnancy). I didn't take it for 2 days and then yesterday, I threw up just out of the blue. So back to the diclectin I go. I am back on track now.
Rob is still not in the hospital, it is truly amazing, they said 90% of people need a blood transfusion and that if he was going to have a bad week this would have been it. We were prepared for a bad week and nothing has happened, we are so thank full for the break. Rob has to go to the hospital every morning at 8 for blood work and then he is out and home by noon. Yesterday Rob's counts were all low. Today he starts the neupogen shots (that will bring all his counts up but mostly his white blood cells), he will get one tomorrow as well and then I will do the one for Saturday and he will go back to the hospital Monday for blood work.

Surprisingly today I post from home. Rob went into the hospital all packed and we expected a week long hospital stay. His counts were still ok, White blood cells were 1.24 (normal is 4-11) so he still has an immune system. Red blood cells carry oxygen are 135, I think normal is 150-something, sorry I forgot. And finally his platelets are 108 again I forget what the normal is but I know he is ok until below 80 to be careful and below 10 they give a platelet transfusion. His CVC line is not doing well though, the doctor is saying to put him on antibiotics because it is pussing, I just wish they would take it out there is no need for it. I hope they learn from last time and take it out as soon as he has reached his day + 14 which is next Thursday for discharge. By the sounds of it Rob will be staying at the hospital tomorrow and they will put him back on antibiotics. They were surprised that his counts weren't all really low, they call it neutropenic.

I wanted to say thank you to all the people who commented on the last post. It is nice to know there is support out there, I didn't know who all read the blog, it was nice.

I also want to comment on my pregnancy here, I feel the need to defend myself a little. When people find out that I am pregnant of course the normal response is wow that is great, a child is such a blessing. I really feel that way too and there are other factors in this pregnancy that I want to tell you about so if you ever hear my response to your joy you will know why. I am terrified, I know it is a normal thing to question is my child going to be normal, however most people know that Rob went through chemo a year ago and they ask me is the baby going to be ok, so now I have the normal mother feeling doubled, no actually tripled. I also know the hostile environment the baby is growing in. I am stressed out, it is easy to say think happy thoughts when you created your own stress but I didn't create this, and I can't just let the stress in my life go. In the beginning when I found out the issue to me was I had let go of having another baby the moment we found out about the cancer, so for 2 months I never thought about it and I was completely over it, so to find out after 2 months was shock. The first thing I did was call my mom sobbing asking her to tell me God had a plan, would he give me a child, just to take it away, I couldn't go through that. She reassured me God did and everything would be ok. So if you hear my lack of joy that is why I am terrified.
So for the record the chemo Rob had a year ago the doctor said wait one year before trying the success rate of getting pregnant is low. The last chemo treatment that Rob had which was Melphalan on Tuesday of last week is the one that will make him sterile. He has never received Melphalan before last week.

Today is our 6th Anniversary, I have been waiting for this day for the last month. I was expecting something big and amazing to happen and then realized the most amazing thing already happened, we are here together celebrating 6 years.
We went to Milestones for dinner tonight. They had a table set up different than all the other tables. We were by ourselves until the last 5 minutes of dinner. I had called ahead a few days earlier and spoke with the Chef about Robs restrictions and asked if they could accommodate us. The chef at Milestones on Stephen Avenue said absolutely and then we went through each item, we were ordering. The meal we had was off of the seasonal menu, so they made everything just for us. They brought the food out with lids on it to make sure it was good for Rob. They served us expensive imported from Italy bottled water, because Rob can't drink tap water, wont touch wine and I am pregnant so no wine for me. The food was perfect, I really don't know how else to say it. They didn't just say they were going to do accommodate Rob, you could actually tell they did it. There was a vase of flowers in the middle of the table and at the end when we were leaving our waitress brought a box out for the flowers so we could take them home. I know I know I shouldn't have them in the house, I will have to send them to my moms tomorrow, so she can enjoy them. The reason Rob can't have them in the house is they are usually imported and who knows what bugs they have on them. I think the biggest thing that impacted me about our special dinner was at the end the Manager came over to us and asked if he could pay for our dinner. They gave us a card with the words, You are an inspiration to all of us, the Manager took time to get the flowers ordered and set up a special table and then pay for our dinner and be involved in our service as well. Thank you Milestones you made this a memorable milestone for us.

Wow it smells nasty here!! like raspberry, cream corn, garlic and mint. The preservative that was in the stem cells is the garlic and cream corn, the raspberry is the air freshener I am bent over while typing this, and the mint smell is the candy in mine and Robs mouth. The stem cell transplant is complete and Rob did not have any reactions, one that they told us to watch for was he might feel like getting up and leaving, if he did they would sedate him. He did not get up and leave, and there was no other reaction to the preservative in the stem cells. His vitals remained good through out the whole thing. Rob will be able to go home tonight around 6 and can stay out on a pass till Tuesday. I am guessing I will never eat cream corn again, lol!! it is not a nice smell in here. Rob will smell like cream corn for a week, and it is so funny he can't smell a thing. See the saying is true a skunk can't smell itself.
On another note Tyler wanted to talk to me this morning so I called and he said I got a hurt, I asked him if he fell down and he said "No I got shot" lol!!

The parking at the Foothills Hospital is so crazy today, I had to park in the far parking lot and walk over it took me 10 minutes to walk here, so I was so late but they waited for me to give Rob his last Chemo treatment. It took about 20 minutes and they just pushed it in by hand over 20 minutes. Now he is on LOTS of fluid and a drug that makes him pee lots to flush it out of his system and another drug that binds all the dead toxins that the chemo destroyed and flushes them out as well. Rob has to keep his mouth really cold with ice chips, popsicles and whatever else he can find that is cold, to prevent mouth sores. We had the doctor, the physiotherapist, and the dietitian come by today. The dietitian said that the immuno suppressed diet starts tomorrow and will only last for 2 weeks not the 3 months that we were told, she said that it has changed and they are working on printing new pamphlets. So it looks like I do not have to be as worried as I thought for the Funtastic in July. I asked the dietitian about us going out for dinner on Saturday for our anniversary and she said to call ahead and see if they can accommodate our request.

Here we are back at the hospital for the last round of treatment. We have a wonderful view of the parking lot and an older community that looks like a forest with over grown trees.
Rob got another CVC line put in, the freezing has worn off and it is not as pain full as last time. He didn't get the local anesthetic like he did last time, he is so brave lol!
While I was waiting for Rob there was this lady with her two children, one was about 3 and the other was about 6 months, she was here with her dad. I thought I was awesome for being here all the time, I changed my mind she is awesome, I couldn't do it with the kids they would be to full of energy and I couldn't keep them entertained.
They will put Rob on an IV of fluid later tonight that will run all night and then he will start the Chemo tomorrow around 10. It is pushed in by hand into his CVC line over 20 minutes. He has to keep his mouth frozen for a minimum of 4 hours they prefer 6. This chemo really damages the lining of the mouth lungs and stomach. The doctor said that before they did the ice 70% of patients got the mouth sores, by doing the ice that reduces drastically to 20% of patients get mouth sores. The mouth sores is the reason patients do not eat and lose weight, and that they are really pain full.

Over the last school year I have gotten to know the students I drive and their families. One students mom came out of the house today with dinner in her hand. It was a cheesy noodle casserole, with ceasar salad and bread. It was really good and I didn't have to cook and clean up was a breeze. I feel like lately I have been really crabby because I am physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. It seems that people are not understanding that being crabby is a result of all of those, I DON'T enjoy snapping and being cranky. I know that peoples reaction is to snap back cause they don't understand but this is me begging you to try and understanding. So today is a great day if you want to talk I am not cranky, lol!
We went to the hospital today for RN teaching, basically she was telling us what to expect in the next half of the treatment, which starts Tuesday. Rob will get a new line in the same side he had the other one they will just move it over a bit, the reason is everything comes out of the left of your heart so there is lots of stuff in the way and that's why the line needs to go in on the right. Some interesting stuff was Rob will be on one antibiotic once a day for 2 years. It seems like such a long time, it is the one that prevents chicken pox, shingles measles and mumps. That vaccine is given when a child is 2 because then you have a mature and strong immune system. It is a live vaccine as well so you really have to be able to handle it. She said the first weekend after will be ok but the week following the transplant may be hard. So most likely Rob will be out of the hospital for our anniversary. Wow! 6 years already and all I am hoping for this year for our anniversary is that we don't have to spend it in the hospital. It wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen at least we are together.
We asked about being in the sun and basically he has the same risks we have of burning just his is a little quicker, because of the antibiotic he is on. So as long as he is careful with food and sunscreen we should be ok to go to Vernon for the Funtastic.

When we were at the hospital on Monday we forgot and they forgot to take Robs stitches out. I called the hospital and asked them if I could take it out and they said I could, lol oh my!! EWWWW!! EWWW!! that is all I have to say, after my moment I sucked it up and did it. I didn't hurt him at all. We both survived. lol!

we got the results back today from the CT Scan Rob did last week. All of the spots where the lymphoma was they were over 2cm everything now is under 1cm. They will shrink more as well. The most important part is the spots are not active for cancer. The entire process will be delayed by 2 weeks because of the infection that happened. They want him on antibiotics for a week and then another week to recover just to make sure. He was supposed to go in this week but now he is going in on May 19th. They will put in a new CVC at that time.
There is this one antibiotic that makes Rob nauseas when he takes it, we remembered the other day that the nurse told him to take something with acid like orange juice in it and that will help digest the pill. It is hard to digest and they told him not to have milk with it, because that keeps the acid down. So now with the orange juice he isn't as sick.

Rob is still really nausea's I have no idea why either. He has been eating decently for not feeling well.
As for me this is the worst nausea I have had with either of the boys. I want to eat a whole roast dinner with potatoes and carrots, but I can't even handle soup. I am on anti-nausea from the doctor but it doesn't seem to be helping it completely. I went and calculated and realized I will be in my second trimester in 2 weeks, so hopefully that will help with nausea. I am a lot farther along then I thought. We have an ultrasound booked for June 27 and the due date is November 27-28. November will be cool, the birth date will be 11-11.
I have kinda left Seth and Tyler out of this too, because I feel guilty that I am not with them as much as I should be. Rob and I need a moment together that isn't filled with nausea or thinking about what is going on, but I feel bad that I don't want to take that moment and let my mom have the kids. I was talking to them the other day when they came back from Vernon, and I said that we could go see Daddy and they piped up that Daddy was in the hospital, then Seth goes he has no hair. lol!!

Rob is home now. It looks like his transplant is going to be delayed for a week because they want him on antibiotics. We get a break until Monday, Rob has to be back at the hospital for 9:30. to review the results of today's test. The test was to make sure that the lymphoma is gone or at the stage it should be.
Today at the hospital they closed the 6 elevators down on the side of the hospital where Rob was for a fire test, and then accidentally shut down all 14 in the hospital. They worked real quick and got 2 freight elevators working. Rob was on his way up from his CT Scan and saw a worker with lots of lunch trays he was on his way to deliver them. He had been waiting for an hour and a half for the elevator, but every time the doors opened on his floor there was a person in a bed, and he didn't fit, lots of people including Rob didn't get lunch today. So as soon as we got home I started supper, lol! poor guy.

Rob says he feels like a junkie, they poked him 6 times yesterday to put an IV in him. The first two they put in stayed for the night but the next day they didn't work so they poked him 4 more times and the last one stuck and it HURTS him SO bad.
Today was a long day and I think tomorrow will be too. I went to work with the boys, took Seth to school, went to the doctor, came and visted Rob with the boys, walked 25 minutes to my bus, went back to work and now I am back at the hospital. My mom has the boys and I will be getting them around 9 tonight. Tomorrow looks like the same. See I am trying to be there for everyone.
The doctor said that she was thinking of sending Rob home tomorrow. He is doing so much better. They found the actual bug and put him on only one antibiotic.

Last night when I was leaving the hospital the nurse in charge stopped me to tell me that they found the source of infection for Rob it is his line and so they are removing it right away today. They don't usually find the source of these problems so it was nice that they did this time and they can treat it with the appropriate antibiotic. Which means it will clear faster. There is a slight chance that this will delay his transplant by about 1 week or so. We are not for sure on that though. I asked where it could have come from and the answer was just about anywhere. I think I wanted to know that is wasn't me. The nurse said that something on Robs skin could have started there and worked its way in and just kept building. So thank you to all who prayed for Rob on Saturday night we are lucky to know what the problem is so we can eliminate and solve it. They will put in a new CVC line on the other side of his chest when it comes time to do the transplant. Last night they had put two IV's in him one on each arm, I feel so bad for him because he can only sleep on his back now.
I also wanted to note on yesterdays post that you are to read it just the way it is and not between the lines. I am not saying I will lose the baby I am just saying, why I told you so early.

I couldn't even sell my story people wouldn't buy it. This much stuff doesn't happen to one family at the same time. Rob is back in the hospital and they don't know what is wrong with him. He has a fever that is really high 41.7 which is 106. They do not know why, they have taken many blood samples and swabs in his nose. They have him on 3 different antibiotics along with the 2 he takes by pill form. He has been sick for about 5 days and when we called the doctor there wasn't anyone in on the weekends so she said he wouldn't probably sit there all weekend and it sounded like it was viral and there isn't much you can do with a viral infection. We had some appointments today so we came in and they are keeping him here. They give him Demerol when he shakes just before he gets a fever. That helps with the shakes it calms his muscles down. The issue is his organs are getting really hot, when he has a fever his toes are cold it is so weird. His blood pressure is so low it is crazy, and his kidneys are really irritated.
So when Rob came to the hospital this morning I went to the emergency room. I have been so sick for the past week and 10 days was enough. The nurse took some blood and a urine sample and pushed on my stomach and said does this hurt on my right side, and yes it hurt really bad. The doctor came in and pushed and guess what IT STILL HURT, lol she sent me down for an ultrasound to look at my appendix because the pain was in that spot. They couldn't see anything and couldn't send me for an MRI or CT Scan to see my appendix because the urine sample told them I am pregnant. I need to watch my appendix for the next couple days. Based on my calculations I am 8 weeks pregnant. You ask yourself why am I taking a risk and telling you so soon, it is because if you see me walking down the street in a month with no belly and a sad face you wont have to ask whats wrong.

I know it has been a while let me tell you why. I thought there was something wrong with me it all started 9 days ago, I woke up nausea's and didn't really think anything maybe I was just stressed, so I went to work stopped and got some gingerale and continued on with my day, the weekend and into the next week, waking up not eating just drinking gingerale until about suppertime, then I felt better and would eat a little, just to wake up to the same thing the next day. I called in sick on Thursday because I was puking and realized it wasn't just stress, well and Rob caught it too so then I knew it was a flu. Rob has been sick for about 5 days and has been puking for the last 2 days. It is so sad around here, we were sitting on the couch yesterday so sick, with gingerale, crackers, and water beside us so we didn't have to move and we would pass it back and forth. With this sickness gravol doesn't even help. Robs fever has continually been over 40. The doctor said that this is viral and there is nothing they can do about it, if it was bacterial they could give him antibiotics. So we are just two sick people trying to help each other out. I am feeling a little better today but that is because I haven't eaten, it seems to make it worse, it is like a 24 hour flu everyday. Tomorrow we have to go to the hospital for tests and x-rays they want to make sure the line is in place, for transplant May 3, all though with Rob being sick if he is not ok by then they will have to delay the transplant. Then on Tuesday we drive out to Golden to get the boys, they went to Vernon for Easter.

I posted the picture of the Pops I said I was making today. You can see them at thentherescake.blogspot.com I had fun making them. Last month Robs mom and Aunt came to visit and we started and finished a puzzle, it was really neat I liked it because it was rectangle not the normal square.
As for Rob he is doing really well, he worked on his RC car for a few hours today. We went to a friends house today for my friends daughters birthday party. Rob is a little tired but he had a nap today. He is doing amazing, I would say he is a little stir crazy, he is so bored, I feel so bad for him. We have a bunch of appointments on Tuesday, one I am interested in is with the Dietician and they will tell us exactly what he can and cannot have.

Good morning I have about 10 min before I need to go to work. I haven't posted lately because there hasn't really been anything to say. Rob is home and is doing really well. He has to take pills at 8AM 12PM 4PM 8PM and 10PM. I get his 8AM ready and he is awesome about taking the rest on time as well. He is taking 2 different antibiotics and I don't like that he taking them. He doesn't have an infection it is just in case he gets one, so I really don't like it. The other pills are potassium, and one that is for heartburn and acid reflux.
Rob doesn't do marathons or anything but he is doing amazing it doesn't strain him to go up and down the stairs. I think he might be getting a little bored though from not working.
Robs brother and sister in-law were here this week, they were such a help at getting Rob up and moving and getting him to eat. Last night Robs Aunty Margaret and Uncle Dave came to visit, we didn't even know they pulled up at the house and I was watching out the window and it took me a few seconds to put it all together, I recognized them and I said to Rob look who is here I couldn't tell him who it was though, lol!! It was unexpected and really nice to see them.
I am excited to make cake Pops today and tomorrow for my friends daughters birthday, it is an outlet for me, some people like to sit and read a book, I like to make Pops.

Wow it has been a crazy day. I went to work this morning then to the hospital for the day and went back to work for the afternoon, made supper, went to wal-mart to fill Robs prescriptions, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom. I am exhausted. Rob is home now his brother and sister in-law are here and were at the hospital all day so they drove him home.
Today Rob's white blood count was really high 9.6 so they took his stem cells out. He sat hooked up to a machine that took blood out and put the blood back in. They were looking for a 555 billion stem cell count, they went past 570 billion. He was on the machine for about 4 hours which is really good, normally it is longer than that and this process can last up to 3 days 6 hours a day.
Something I learned the other day that was really interesting I thought I would share it with you. Stem cells turn into other cells, and nutrifils are part of the white blood cell, that is actually your immune system. Rob has lots of nutrifils, right now so his immune system is ok. The nutrifils are the mature stem cells, so they know that you have had that cold before, and that vaccine before. They are going to give him one more shot of chemo and then give him his stem cells back. It will kill all remaining cells and that is why he will have to have vaccines again because his stem cells wont know that he has had them. It is like a bone marrow transplant with your own stem cells. It will be really hard on his body because it will be so confused. Rob had another platelet transfusion today, because they were too low and his blood wouldn't clot. He had a reaction to it, he had rashes all over but they cleared after some time.
I cracked today, Rob didn't want to get up and move, or eat. I snapped there were some words exchanged and he ate everything on the plate. Then the doctor visited him and told him to go home. Imagine that he did just fine, and he is doing really well now. I think you lose the fight in the hospital because you know they will fight for you if something goes wrong.
There was a question in the comments on the last blog and he gets his stem cells back in May and the projected date to leave the hospital is May 19, just in time for our 6 anniversary, too bad we wont be doing anything for that. He has to be really careful about where he goes and what he eats. See God is really smart we aren't born with teeth so we can't eat vegetables unless they are soft and fully cooked, which means they would have been washed and all bugs would have been removed. You wouldn't give your baby mayo, or jam because they wont be eating toast or sandwiches. Rob has to watch what he eats, like really wash the lettuce and tomato. He can only have condiments if they are individually packaged. So see your baby wouldn't have to worry about all the things that could go wrong with food. Rob has to watch because he will have a weak immune system.

This post goes to Seth and Tyler. I miss my boys so much. One day I will tell them all about this but I hope till then when this is over they forget all about it. The boys have my mom, so I need to be with Rob. I was going to leave last night and his fever spiked and he was shaking, all he wanted was for me to just be there, I don't need to say anything, just be there. It is hard to watch Rob with a fever of 40.2 he is not functional, and sometimes I forget that because there are no other signs like puking or a cold. Rob is such a fighter. I just want to stand by their daddy so he can get better and be there for them. I should go to bed instead of writing this because I am a little emotional. I was thinking I just want a normal day with my boys, I was complaining that I take the boys with me to work I thought that was hard, I would love to take them to work with me right now. Sometimes the boys frustrate me, right now I would take that frustration, because that is normal, missing them is not a normal thing a parent should have to go through, unless of course you are on a vacation, this is no vacation. I complain about all the laundry they make, I would love to do their laundry right now. I wanted them to grow up and dress themselves, I would love to dress them right now. The worst part of being a parent for me is bum wiping, I would love to just wipe their bum. It is sad that they have to go through this right now, but everything happens for a reason. We can not have children anymore and if we didn't have them when we did and so close together they would have never been born. When I see the boys it feels strange like they don't want me there in the sense that if I am not going home with you I would rather not see you at all. I know that is not the case, their world has been turned upside down, they don't get it and I don't know what to do about it. I want things to be as normal as possible for them but every time I try there is a hiccup. They have to go to my moms because Rob got sick and was back in the hospital, they had to go back to my moms because they caught a cold and couldn't be around daddy. I was going to put this yesterday but I forgot. The shots that Rob is receiving makes his bones throb so bad that he doesn't want to move. It is like a pulsing sensation that doesn't go away and tylenol doesn't even touch it. Morphine seems to dull it enough for it to be bareable for him. They took Rob off of the second antibiotic that was making him so sick. I am trying to push him a little, but he hasn't been eating and is really dizzy when he sits up and he puked again this morning. It is so hard I am trying to push him to fight for this but he just wants to lay there and not move. He is not eating which is half of the problem, he does so much better at home, but he wont fight to get out of bed. The nurse was saying that this is normal because his body is working so hard right now. Robs counts today White blood cell 3.1, a huge jump they took a blood sample today and then they will take one tomorrow morning to see how many are actually floating in the blood Red blood cells are 110 Platelets are 22, this is really slow but is much better than yesterday. There is a creatin that is released in your body by your kidney that you have to watch because if it gets really high it can damage your kidney. Robs is borderline, so they want him to drink more and they put him on an IV so that it will filter out his kidney. Rob is having a nap right now and his whole body keeps jumping as if someone is poking him. It is the injection that is making his bone marrow work and that is what is hurting him.